FUCK THE CARRIAGE!!!!!

馬車だ！！！！あああああアアアああああぁぁあぁあぁアァあぁFUCKYOU

DUHHH THE CARRIAGE!!!! DUHHH THE CARRIAGE!!???!!1 THE CARRIAGE!!!!! IS THAT ALL YOU TWINCEST FUCKS CAN SAY!!??? DURR THE CARRIAGE RIDING ON FOREVER IN THE NIGHT WILL ONE DAY TURN BACK INTO A PUMPKIN I FEEL LIKE IM IN A FUCKING ASYLUM FULL OF DEMENTIA RIDDEN OLD PEOPLE THAT CAN DO NOTHING BUT REPEAT THE SAME FUCKING CINDERELLA COMPLEX-LITE THEORY ON LOOP LIKE A FUCKING BROKEN RECORD THE CARRIAGE WILL TURN BACK INTO A PUMPKIN LOL!!! THE CARRIAGE!!!1 PUMPKIN!! LE CARRIAGE!!!! I AM IN THE CARRIAGE!!!! YOU THINK THIS FAMILY SETTING WILL PERSERVE OUR FRIENDSHOP PREVENT CHANGE I FUCKING HATE THE HOST CLUB SO GODDAMN MUCH FUCKJK YOU KAORU I HONEST TO GOD HOPE YOUR HOST CLUB KING CHOKES ON COMMONERS COFFEE IN HELL YOU COCKSUCKER VUT OHHH I KNOWM MY POST IS FEEDING INTO THE CARRIAGE ALLEGORY ISNT IT?? THE CARRIAGE WILL TURN BACK INTO THE PUMPKIN ONE DAY AND THEN YOU’LL BE ALL ALONE!!!!!!

I am genuinely fucked. I am so fucked. Do you know how fucking humiliating it is to be me. I cannot look at Cinderella carriages OR pumpkins normally everytime I see any of those things I go DUHHHHH I can't fucking take it. This isn't even funny anymore and now at the height of it I'm making a fucking webpage and for what? what end goal? there isn't one. i fucking hate the carriage so fucking much it has ruined my life. I hyperventilate when i see a fucking PUMPKIN at the GROCERY STORE i lose my SHIT when anyone says the word CARRIAGE and then i look like a CRACKHEAD. i literally saw a cinderella carriage toy in my neighbors yard and in the dead of night i tresspassed on their property to take a picture with the flash on to show my friends and say DUHHHHH this is an actual psychotic disorder and it's all due to KAORU FUCKING HITACHIIN!!!!

EVEN IF I FUCKING EXPLAIN IT TO YOU YOU WONT UNDERSTAND!!!!

ok let me try and explain myself... have you ever watched an anime called Ouran Highschool Host Club? So in it, there's this guy named Kaoru Hitachiin, right. younger brother of Hikaru Hitachiin. They're in incest love i think. anyways kaoru is literally in the top 1% like the whole meme of the show is that all the characters except the main one are rich so it's like "haha dumb rich people don't know how to buy toilet paper because they've never had to go to the super market quirky funné!!" so ok. this 15 year old billionaire has depression :/ and to illustrate his worries + anxities he compares his life to cinderella............ok.........so that's fucking stupid....but it's funny and it was executed good so it's whatever :) no. my issue is not the fact the allegory exists at all. it's that....no. listen to me.

I HAVE A FUCKING SHIRT OF THIS NOW SOMEBODY MADE ME A GOD DAMN FUCKING SHIRT. NOW I CAN GET MY ASS KICKED IN PUBLIC I CAN PROUDLY PROCCLAIM I AM A MENTALLY UNSTABLE INDIVIDUAL A RIPE TARGET FOR THE POLICE AND CIA ALIKE TO ASSASSINATE. THANKS. THANKS! YOU SURE FUCKING CARE ABOUT MY WELLBEING. YES I WEAR THE SHIRT IN PUBLIC. IF YOU SEE ME DO NOT FUCKING RTALK TO ME. IF YOU SAY THE WORDS "P*MPKIN" "C*NDERELLA" OR "CARR*DGE" IN MY GENERAL PRESENCE YOUR BODY WILL BECOME A VESSEL FOR THE CREATURES OF THE OCEAN. FUCK YOU. ASSHOLES.

listen to me. I'm grabbing you by the shoulders.

Come closer, boy.

You're still too far away.

......

IT'S NEVER FUCKING RESOLVED
DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING ANNOYING THAT IS. OHHHHH LET'S GIVE THIS CHARACTER A WHOLE DEPRESSION ARC ABOUT HIS DEEP FEARS. AND THEN NEVER RESOLVE IT!!!!!!!!! LET'S LEAD THE AUDIENCE TO BELIEVE THERE'S CREDIBILITY TO HIS FEARS OF LOSING ALL HIS FRIENDS.....AND NEVER STATE OTHERWISE. OK. OK. AND HE FUCKING SAYS IT CONSTANTLY LIKE "THE CARRIAGE WILL HAVE TO TURN BACK SOMEDAY" AND NOBODY FUCKING BATS AN EYE NOT EVEN HIS BROTHER THEYRE JUST LIKE "OH FUNNY KAORU WITH HIS FUNNY COGNITIVE DISSONANCE" STOP. OK. GO FUCK YOURSELF.
"OH WHY DON'T YOU JUST IGNORE IT IT'S JUST A DUMB ANIME"
NO.
I HAVE INVESTED WAY TOO MUCH INTO THIS EMOTIONALLY. I LIKE THIS CHARACTER, OK? AND I ADMIT THE SET UP WAS PRETTY COOL. BUT THEN....IT NEVER GOES ANYWHERE........WE'RE LEFT WONDERING, JUST, WHAT THE FUCK?
SO OF COURSE I INVENT CINDERELLA NIGHT. ME AND MY FRIENDS WATCH CINDERELLA MOVIES EVERY THURSDAY NIGHT. AT FIRST IT WAS ME TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF THE ALLEGORY. MAYBE I WAS MISSING SOMETHING. NO. AND NOW I AHVE WATCHED ALL 3 CINDERELLA MOVIES ENGLISH AND JAPANESE. MULTIPLE TIMES. AND WE ARE GOING TO WATCH EVERY LIVE ACTION FILM IN EXISTANCE.

it has unfortunately come to my attention that some people believe the carriage allegory does get resolved in the final episode. the fact that the carriage haruhi & friends were riding on falls into the pumpkin patch but tamaki is still rescued at the end of the day means that everything is fine and that the spell has broken but it's all ok. No. No. No. you fucking morons. listen to me. sure. consider this resolved. maybe themeatically, sure. but for kaoru, no. the carriage allegory is a symptom. a symptom of kaoru's depression. they treated the symptom, not the actual illness, and either way, kaoru was never in the know about it. it was just for us, the audience, but what does kaoru get? his fears are never resolved. we get the cheapest ending possible. and it's so so fucking annoying. they did this on purpose to say "oh look we DID resolve it!" NO YOU DIDN'T. YOU FUCKING DIDN'T. YOU DID THE BARE MINIMUM AND USED A LOOPHOLE BUT IT'S STILL UNRESOLVED FOR THE CHARACTER IN QUESTION. i hate this piece of shit allegory and if anybody else sends me an anonymous ask on tumblr saying how the carriage allegory was actually resolved im stapling my ballsack to the ceiling fan. good fucking bye.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand the carriage allegory. The meaning is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of teenage depression most of the symbolism will go over a typical viewer’s head. There’s also Kaoru’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from classic Disney movies like Cinderella, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these ramblings, to realize that they’re not just contextual- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike the carriage allegory truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humor in Kaoru’s existencial object of choice, the pumpkin, which itself is a cryptic reference to how the carriage will revert back into a pumpkin at midnight. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Bisco Hatori’s genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools… how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Kaoru Hitachiin tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the host club’s eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.

OURAN SEASON 2 OPENING!! FUCK YOU!!!

WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHER FUCKERS MADE A FUCKING NINTENDO 3DS THEME OF THIS FUCKING SITE. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU.

"SAKURASODA", WHOEVER YOU ARE, I WILL FUCKING FIND YOU.

this image is so fucking annoying who the fuck let this happen. genuinely. you think after almost 2 years i'd be over this BUT I'M FUCKING NOT. WHO LET THIS HAPPEN. WHO IN THE FUCKING WRITING STAFF ROOM LET THIS HAPPEN. I tried emailing greg ayres once (voice of kaoru fucking hitachiin) and he never replied. greg ayres i know you're reading this and i'm holding you accountable. reply to my fucking email boy. i will pay you 200$ to read the copypasta. it won't give me closure and in fact will probably make my scizophrenia worse but this is not longer a request you should be genuinely afraid for your life. fuck this stupid allegory. fuck this shit. fuck this shit. FUCK THE CARRIAGE. FUCK. THE CARRIAGE. WHO THOUGHT WE NEEDED CARRIAGE OFFICIAL COVER ART YOU COULD HAVE DRAWN ANYTHING ELSE BUT NOOOOOO. FUCK. OFF.

SAY SOMETHING THAT
WILL PISS ME OFF
I KNOW YOU WANT TO!!!

FUCKING LINK ME COWARDS

<a href="https://carriage.neocities.org/"><img src="https://file.garden/ZSYbd2bTJ3TtdvGZ/carriage/carriagesite.gif"></a>

I dare you to click the fucking pumpkin.

I'm still fucking here because not only does god hate me but so do my friends. My fucking friend got me a book like a month or 2 ago i don't know do you think I'm keeping track of time. Anyways he got me a book here's the fucking image.

It's fucking stupid. See my friends like to do this to me. They like to get me cinderella/pumpkin things because it's ha ha funny. Listen I dedicate more than 1 site to this stupid allegory do you think my hatred is a bit NO it fucking isn't and I'm so mad. If you couldn't tell I'm >autistic. And I'm about to infodump to you about my rage. This book is stupid. Like absurdly so. It's for kids?? Get them fucking warrior cats or something who gives a shit about a pumpkin book unbelievable. Anyways if that was all I wouldn't be this mad but of course in my miserable existence the pain only continues. The whole book is like, ha ha funny animals in funny pumpkin kill yourself but the last page is the worst. trigger warning.

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
シネ！！！！！！！！！

Can you guys just all live in my fucking shoes for one god damn moment. and I mean it like sincerely. This has been going on for YEARS at this point but nobody cares they love to throw 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝒹 𝑔𝑜𝓊𝓇𝒹𝓈 at my face. The other day I went over to a friend's place (yes I have friends) to watch Starwars (gay) and guess what. they had bought a pumpkin bathroom towel just for me. Now I know I say a lot of dumbshit on here I do I know. like i'm aware you cunts. and yeah, maybe it's funny, okay? but cinderella movie night is still going and I'm still trapped in my fucking cage. like mr. brightside or whatever he was called. Do you know how i greet new people I meet. I asked them if they know about the carriage. I ask if they like cinderella. Does this make me fun at parties? I don't know probably. Like damn bitch we need a new DSM just for you.
𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓪𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵 𝓳𝓮𝓻𝓴𝓼 𝓸𝓯𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓲𝓻 𝔀𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼.

Why do yhey call it a baby carriage

So a certain someone on youtube looked at my site it seems. "𝓲𝓽'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓮𝓮𝓹" he said. I don't expect people to understand. Nobody could understand. My friends barely understand. I was having a nonverbal episode once and my friend pulled me out of it by saying how good the carriage allegory was. I got so angry it broke me out. You do not get to tell me this shit isn't deep. It is to me. It is FOR me. I am seeing red typing this despite the color being neon piss yellow like super saiyan goku hair

I'm fuming. Oh, and to the

smartasses telling me to read the manga,

𝐍𝐎. 𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐀.

IT IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM THE SHOW. IT IS NOT NEARLY AS FUNNY AND THERE IS

I WANT THE CARRIAGE ALLEGORY TO BE RESOLVED. I WANT THE ANIME TO RESOLVE IT. if you like the manga that's awesome for you but i do not and there is no carriage so there is no allegory to solve dipshit.

I was told once that this image of all my medication (i have procured more since and will probably only acquire more, the doctors desire me sexually) above my dresser was environmental storytelling. yes there are carriage and kaoru images all around my room. i have this one->

printed out as a photo and it is right next to me watching me as I type this at my desk. I fucking hate this allegory but in a way....maybe I should thank it. I have genuinely met new friends through voicing my anger. I am spreading the knowledge to people all across the globe, which is what I want. maybe the real resolution to the allegory were the friends we made along the way. Or not. i don't fucking care. i just want to talk to Greg Ayres this is all his fault. Yes i know he didn't write the anime. No i don't care. Also, if ouran gets a reboot im cutting my dick off. I don't want a reboot. You know why? Because they'll just readapt the manga more faithfully. I hate the manga. there is no carriage. we will not get a carriage resolution. but what if they did use the carriage? well too fucking bad because i dont trust these neanderthals to correctly and properly resolve it. even if they do the damage has already been done. i have lost the will to hope. cinderella would be ashamed of me. ouugh...i wanna fuck cinderella. i didn't say that.
Also the carriage set up was interesting and kaoru's arc in the manga is boring in comparison idgaf i like the mentally ill psychosis ridden version the anime gave us